Australian family Christmas

When my Asian friends wish me a Merry Christmas I thank them and then explain that I don't usually celebrate Christmas. 'Why not?' They invariably ask.

I come from a big family. Somehow we've always followed the traditional obligation to get together at Christmas time. This usually leads to one or two drinking a little too much alcohol. And then the abuse starts.

Christmas is supposed to celebrate the birth of Jesus. I understand that Jesus was a man of compassion, love and peace. Somehow I feel we've lost the plot.

Living in Asia I can usually avoid Christmas but this year I'm back in Australia. I'm staying with my daughter and living close to my son. I thought they would spend the day with my ex-wife, their mother. But she happens to be working so it was planned that they would spend the day with me.

A few days ago my son was invited by his ex to have Christmas lunch with her, their children and a few others. Yesterday that invitation was extended to the rest of us. I had some misgivings as my son's ex-partner's current partner has, I believe, been addicted to heroin and is known to be violent at times. In the spirit of compassion, love and peace we all, except for my daughter's husband, agreed to go.

This gathering was an interesting representation of an Australian family. There was my son and his new partner, my son's ex-partner, their two sons, her new partner, his daughter and her mother. There was my son's ex-partner's mother and my son's ex-partner's new partner's brother and parents. I was there with my daughter and her two sons.

When we arrived my grandsons and their step-father's daughter were opening their gifts. Each of them on one day received about as many toys as a child in a developing country might expect to receive during their whole childhood, perhaps more.

We had a delightful lunch. The food was plentiful and delicious. Perhaps we all ate too much. And then my ex-wife turned up.

My experience of families was that all of this was a recipe for disaster. But no one got drunk. No one became abusive. I had pleasant conversations with most of the people there including my ex-wife. I had a good time! In short, I had a merry Christmas. I hope you did too.